i wrote a song tonight, it's called 'i wish that i'. i quite like it, it's pretty catchy. it's not about christmas though. apologies for my irritable blog yesterday and i hope santa didn't read it or i'm in big trouble.
have you got lots planned for christmas and new year? i've been out far too much recently, just catching up with friends and leading a pretty nocturnal existence. i actually think i prefer to do that at this time of year. i like to stay in, cocooned, safe away from everything until night falls. then i crawl out. i did make the mistake of going out today and witnessed people picking up pieces of complete rubbish in gifts shops. they'd stop and look at each multicoloured vase or elvis clock and you could almost hear them thinking 'oh this could do'. what's the point in that? i think christmas should be optional, or is that mean spirited? i can't really be bothered with enforced celebration, things just don't really work for me that way. i can't be told when to be happy/smiley you know? then i wandered about and witnessed people shoving each other in hot shops, everyone grumpy and wanting to get the hell away. goodwill to all men huh? balls! goodwill to all shops more like. i might celebrate my own christmas in june. the 23rd. at 11.30pm. how much crap gets bought at christmas? there should be big jar in the middle of the street and you just spoon all the money you'd be spending on pointless gifts in there and it goes and helps the starving. don't buy that inflatable bath pillow for aunty agnes, take your £7 and go to www.concern.net and make a donation instead. buy agnes a box of after eight mints and tell her she's just helped to save a dying kid instead.
sorry, i'm grumpy today. this blogging business should run the range of emotions and today's is about being highly irritable. there's no point in pretending these moods don't exist, blogging is about everything. it was all going so well too, right up until i went out of my flat today. or maybe even my bed. i had a good weekend which really started on thursday night when i went out for one pint at 9.30pm and ended up going to bed at 7am. spontanous events, always the best. the planned ones never
feel as good. and that includes christmas. www.concern.net. it's a great cause.
well i'm off to london to play shepherd's bush empire. it should be a great gig and i'm really, really, really, really looking forward to it.
or is it shepherd's bush tube station? i can't read my own writing. i think it might just be. oh well, the acoustics might be better and i might get enough money thrown into my trilby for a ham pannini. have a nice weekend :)
last night i was reading this book and it said that the 'singularity' that existed and exploded during the so called 'big bang' was about one trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion times (to the power of 10 roughly though i've probably missed a few trillions along the way here, i can't remember the exact figure) smaller than this here dot -------- > . in fact smaller. zillions of times smaller.
this 'singularity' (dot) then expanded into infinity in less than three seconds. less time than it takes to get the toastie maker powered up. i was lying in bed reading this going wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. it seems like a great book so far. it's called 'a short history of nearly everything' by bill bryson.
it was explaining how people can't understand that there isn't a point at which the universe ends and we 'peer through the curtains' to see what lies beyond so to speak. it is of course infinite yet the human brain can't imagine this.......the way we see it is like if the earth was flat then we'd reach the end eventually and fall off. that's how we view the universe. but the earth is round and so is the universe (well curved actually) therefore if u were to walk anywhere on earth you'd come back to where u started...........same applies with the universe. it's just our brains can't comprehend infinity or the concept of dimensions. well mine can't anyway.
and to think just ten minutes before i thought about these ideas i was worrying about my gammon intake. do you find it easier to forget the bigger picture and become wrapped up in trivialities to avoid confronting your own mortality/nature/point of life? i think with me it depends on my mood and how happy i'm feeling in my life at that point in time. if i'm doing badly then i take comfort from the bigger picture if that makes sense coz it makes me think of how inconsequential my problems are and so i'm pleasantly distracted in wonder. if things are going well then i can sometimes think 'well what's the point in it all anyway!' and i can get gloomy. you just can't win. but i do always take comfort in this exchange which kind of sums it all up nicely i think. it's written by woody allen.
Alvy's mother: He's been depressed. All of a sudden, he can't do anything.
Doctor: Why are you depressed Alvy?
Alvy's mother: Tell Dr. Flicker. (To the doctor) It's something he read.
Doctor: Something he read, huh?
Alvy: The universe is expanding . . . Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, some day it will break apart and that will be the end of everything.
Alvy's mother: What is that your business? (To the doctor) He stopped doing his homework.
Alvy: What's the point?
Alvy's mother: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is not expanding.
Doctor: It won't be expanding for billions of years, yet Alvy. And we've got to try to enjoy ourselves while we're here, huh, huh? Ha, ha, ha. (He laughs before taking another drag on his cigarette)
Extract from 'Annie Hall' - 1977
the best nights are the spontaneous ones. like tonight, i managed to see one of the most engaging live bands i've seen in ages, 'the mars hotel' at the art school. i was in a moany mood and felt quite fed up beforehand but this totally cheered me up even though i didn't see their whole set, they just made me feel better about the world. you can't really ask for much more than that.
i spoke too soon, i just had a coughing outburst almost the minute i hit 'publish'. damnit. it's definitely easing though...
i've nearly stopped coughing! hooray. i think this bug got far too cosy with me but it's finally going and not before time too. i'm quite paranoid about being in crowds now coz obviously that makes you far more prone to catching things, but there are some good gigs coming up that i don't wanna miss out on so i'll just have to brave it. oh you should drink lots of water too apparently to minmise your chances of being struck down.
i've spent alot of time holed up in my flat recently and i think i could quite easily become a hermit now i've hooked up an old turntable through my existing hi-fi. i had a really nice old bush record player but it started smoking recently. not good. this one i have is great, i think it dates from the late 70s or so but the sound it makes is still fine. so i've been playing lots of really good records. i love that i can pick up old lps for 50p or free from my dad who has a whole room filled with vinyl. my playlist this weekend was duke ellington, louis armstrong, stan getz, simon and garfunkel, scott joplin.....it was cold outside and i was listening to warm vinyl and i didn't have to deal with much at all. pretty nice. i always associate frank sinatra records with this time of the year coz i remember when i first got heavily into his music it was winter and i played it all the time on my walkman where ever i was......so one memory i have is being in a taxi coming back from town. it was snowing and it was near christmas and i was happy coz i'd just drunk some mulled wine and i'd met a girl......'come fly with me' never sounded so good.
